http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLthhTnleso&feature=email
Yea, it was this good, thanks to Mr. Tanqueray for the link.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
True Blood Line of the Week
So the three of us have gotten into the HBO show, TrueBlood, and when we're not wreaking havoc on the city down the train from us, we spend quiet Sunday nights watching it.
Inspired by last week's "Somebody needs to get down on my johnson" line, we've decided that we'll post our favorite line from each week's show, because, as we've seen, there seems to be a minimum of one absurd line a week.
This week's:
"Listen to me. I have gout... of the dick."
Enjoy? I bet you did.
Inspired by last week's "Somebody needs to get down on my johnson" line, we've decided that we'll post our favorite line from each week's show, because, as we've seen, there seems to be a minimum of one absurd line a week.
This week's:
"Listen to me. I have gout... of the dick."
Enjoy? I bet you did.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Gotta Go To Work
Okay, I gotts to run, so I'll post now, and those other two assfucks will post later or not at all. Whatever, be grateful that you at least got a dose from me, the self-proclaimed best writer of the group.
Jeigh Peayh-
So the Thrill was at his high school reunion blowin' dudes for the first half of the night, so POD and I met up with the notorious trouble-maker, Bones, so the night started out great. After taking a power hour to the face down the throat, we start walking. With this guy Bones leading the way it could only mean trouble, or so I thought. He brought us to The Boxcar Lounge on Avenue B between tenth and eleventh. Yikes. There were more hipsters between those two walls than... I don't know, I have no analogy. It was awful. I felt like we should have been snap-fighting the whole time, ala Sharks and Jets. There were more fucking fedoras than all of the 1930's, 40's, 50's, and early 60's combined. It was absurd. So we spent about as long as it takes to take a beer to the face and then got the mutherfuck out of that joint.
I guess I expected the night to get better. I'm an idiot. We ended up at Tonic on 29th and 3rd, the only good thing about this dump being that it's pretty close to 3rd and Long, which is where we went regardless of the fact that The Steu-ball wanted to stay to get with the "hot bartender." Pederast.
The highlight for me was the indian dude with the 70's porno mustache dancing with, yep, you guessed it, another indian dude... while somehow still trying to pick up ladies. I loved his moves, I loved his style.
I'll never go to either of those places again.
POD:
Let me first say that as much as I love Bones, it is a complete pain in the ass to get to his apartment. OK maybe I screwed up the directions a little bit but still. We took the 4 downtown from GCT and tried to transfer at Canal St. After walking for what seemed like several miles through the subway, we finally reached the platform for the J, where the only other signs of life besides Jeigh, myself, and the rats, were some hipster asian girls who incidentally wanted my johnson. Too bad I don't like asian girls (I'm asian go figure). We end up going in the wrong direction and get off at the last stop: Wall Street. Jeigh and I walk hastily through that creepy section of the city while I ramble on about how I hate wall street assholes. We finally find a cab and after we figure out that the corner we want is Orchard St and not Orange, we make it to Bones' place. My delight at hearing he lives with his hot older cousin was quickly demolished when I found out she was in Boston for the weekend. After the power hour we started walking through the crowd of blue blazers, scarfs, and fall out boy hair cuts. I'm not sure when this happened, but for argument's sake I'll say it was at this point in the night where Bones, Jeigh, and I started snapping our way down the sidewalk at people. As Jeigh pointed out, the bar we stopped at, the Boxcar Lounge, was about as fun as getting a blowjob from a girl with big teeth and braces. By this I mean the beer selection was cool and obviously we like drinking, but the end result was just slightly more misery. All I remember of Tonic East is doing tequila shots with the creepy mexican homo. 3rd and Long was pretty fun as always, especially because standing in our section of the bar, were the three lamest and bitchy girls in New York. Normally this would have annoyed me, but since the tequila was flowing like wine, Thrill and I decided to make a move. After they repeatedly told me they didn't want any tequila, I bought a round for everyone. The one cool girl of the trio actually took her shot and then left. The other two proceeded to ignore my drunken banter and give the shots back to me. Bones and I took the shots to the face and, apparently in a full fledged scream instead of the private conversation voice that I intended, told the bartender that these girls were cunts and should remove the sticks from their asses. This made them mad. On the walk to GCT, I somehow got seperated from the group when I made a detour to get some late night munchies. The rest of the night was pretty uneventful. Thrill's girlfriend rubbed a mustard covered pretzel in my face, we all snuck on to the train by jumping between the cars and entering through the doors that open up to the car connectors, and I helped rescue a girl from the malfunctioning train bathroom. All in all it was a good night, mostly because of 3rd and Long. I promise we will eventually find a bar that is worth going to again. Until then, enjoy the drunken antics that are almost entirely the fault of 3rd and Long and Jeigh Peayh.
Jeigh Peayh-
So the Thrill was at his high school reunion blowin' dudes for the first half of the night, so POD and I met up with the notorious trouble-maker, Bones, so the night started out great. After taking a power hour to the face down the throat, we start walking. With this guy Bones leading the way it could only mean trouble, or so I thought. He brought us to The Boxcar Lounge on Avenue B between tenth and eleventh. Yikes. There were more hipsters between those two walls than... I don't know, I have no analogy. It was awful. I felt like we should have been snap-fighting the whole time, ala Sharks and Jets. There were more fucking fedoras than all of the 1930's, 40's, 50's, and early 60's combined. It was absurd. So we spent about as long as it takes to take a beer to the face and then got the mutherfuck out of that joint.
I guess I expected the night to get better. I'm an idiot. We ended up at Tonic on 29th and 3rd, the only good thing about this dump being that it's pretty close to 3rd and Long, which is where we went regardless of the fact that The Steu-ball wanted to stay to get with the "hot bartender." Pederast.
The highlight for me was the indian dude with the 70's porno mustache dancing with, yep, you guessed it, another indian dude... while somehow still trying to pick up ladies. I loved his moves, I loved his style.
I'll never go to either of those places again.
POD:
Let me first say that as much as I love Bones, it is a complete pain in the ass to get to his apartment. OK maybe I screwed up the directions a little bit but still. We took the 4 downtown from GCT and tried to transfer at Canal St. After walking for what seemed like several miles through the subway, we finally reached the platform for the J, where the only other signs of life besides Jeigh, myself, and the rats, were some hipster asian girls who incidentally wanted my johnson. Too bad I don't like asian girls (I'm asian go figure). We end up going in the wrong direction and get off at the last stop: Wall Street. Jeigh and I walk hastily through that creepy section of the city while I ramble on about how I hate wall street assholes. We finally find a cab and after we figure out that the corner we want is Orchard St and not Orange, we make it to Bones' place. My delight at hearing he lives with his hot older cousin was quickly demolished when I found out she was in Boston for the weekend. After the power hour we started walking through the crowd of blue blazers, scarfs, and fall out boy hair cuts. I'm not sure when this happened, but for argument's sake I'll say it was at this point in the night where Bones, Jeigh, and I started snapping our way down the sidewalk at people. As Jeigh pointed out, the bar we stopped at, the Boxcar Lounge, was about as fun as getting a blowjob from a girl with big teeth and braces. By this I mean the beer selection was cool and obviously we like drinking, but the end result was just slightly more misery. All I remember of Tonic East is doing tequila shots with the creepy mexican homo. 3rd and Long was pretty fun as always, especially because standing in our section of the bar, were the three lamest and bitchy girls in New York. Normally this would have annoyed me, but since the tequila was flowing like wine, Thrill and I decided to make a move. After they repeatedly told me they didn't want any tequila, I bought a round for everyone. The one cool girl of the trio actually took her shot and then left. The other two proceeded to ignore my drunken banter and give the shots back to me. Bones and I took the shots to the face and, apparently in a full fledged scream instead of the private conversation voice that I intended, told the bartender that these girls were cunts and should remove the sticks from their asses. This made them mad. On the walk to GCT, I somehow got seperated from the group when I made a detour to get some late night munchies. The rest of the night was pretty uneventful. Thrill's girlfriend rubbed a mustard covered pretzel in my face, we all snuck on to the train by jumping between the cars and entering through the doors that open up to the car connectors, and I helped rescue a girl from the malfunctioning train bathroom. All in all it was a good night, mostly because of 3rd and Long. I promise we will eventually find a bar that is worth going to again. Until then, enjoy the drunken antics that are almost entirely the fault of 3rd and Long and Jeigh Peayh.
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